So I am back again. This month has been so intense and I feel like I’m inside a tumble drier spinning around. Sometimes it stops but then it just starts spinning faster again. I really long for quiet and slow time. Just me in an empty space. With no to do lists and no conflicts to deal with.
Amazing Workshop Weekend
I have to start this post with my gorgeous long weekend in Stockholm. It was pure heaven and full of I-can’t-believe-this-is-my-job moments. My dear friend Pernilla and I greeted a group of amazing women for two days of communication with their spirit guides. Of course we do a lot more than that. As we had the chance to gather in a wooden cabin in the middle of the forest we were able to improvise a lot during this workshop. We communicated with trees, rocks and plants outside while standing barefoot on the green moss. I brought my hand-made drum and drummed for a long time in an enchanted forest where we could sense the beautiful creatures who live there.
The group of women were so open-hearted and brave and they made the moments we shared so special. Pernilla and I were so amazed and in awe of their journeys into the depths of their souls. What a treat! Now I feel so filled up with magic and nature that I just have to close my eyes in order to get back to that forest.
I also had the time to spend many hours talking with my friends Pernilla and Nellie and we drank liters of tea. I love connecting one on one with people. I love the depths of our conversations and how our bonds grow stronger.
Back to normal life
After a very long trip back (I live so far from civilisation!) I am now in the middle of my “normal” life again and right now it’s a huge challenge. I’m having a very hard time finding a way to adapt to the French school system and although I have faith in my children this is not an easy place to be.
How do I guide and support my children when they spend their days in a system that doesn’t respect them? In a structure that doesn’t support and honor the creative beings they are. I would love for them to find a good balance between their inner world and the outer one. A balance that is good for them but that also works at school. I am struggling to find my faith in this middle way right now. And although I believe that we will find a way together as a family, we haven’t found this way yet.
In these painful times I am grateful for the new lessons I am learning and the insights into a young boy’s heart and soul are so precisous. I just realised this week that maybe violent boys and men are acting out because they are frustrated because we try to fit all of who they are into a very small box.
I grew up with my mom and sister so I never really thought of how boys grow up but my son shows me this every day. I am so grateful for these lessons and I feel more humble. I believe that this is a good thing. I can’t just think myself out of this. I have to confront it and get through it. In my own way. I need to be strong but compassionate. It is quite a challenge to sit with my feelings of injustice and only focus on my heart opening up. When all I want to do is scream and make someone else responsible.
The truth is that I am responsible for the situation I am in and I need to stay true to myself and my beliefs – even when they are challenged.
My life savers right now are:
- Barefoot Breathing: No matter how bad I feel or how busy I am I take some time every day to go outside, take my shoes off and breath with Mother Earth. It doesn’t take away all the pain but I feel connected again.
- Going for long walks in the forest: Nature is magical and I love going for a long walk and feel how my day melts away. Down to earth magic : ).
- My friends: I don’t have a lot of friends but a few really close ones. We can talk for hours and they teach me so much about myself and about life. Love you!
- My children: They always amaze me. Children are so great at staying in the present moment, to feel what they are feeling and they are so creative. How is that for a teacher?
It seems like this month of September is shaking us all up a bit and I try to stay present, to be with what is. Some days it’s easy and some days it’s very hard. But I am here. Still breathing.
I am really happy to let you know that I’ll be on the lovely Tia Johnson’s blog radio show this evening at 18.00 Central European Time (noon EST). We’ll be chatting about spirituality and I’ll be doing readings so you’re very welcome to call in. If you can’t join us at this time, just come back later and listen to the recording.
I wish you a beautiful day!
All my Love,
PS: My Love Letter for September is going out today. If you wish to receive one, just let me know.
PS2: We are sending out our very first Soultribe newsletter today. Yay! If you’re not on out list, please join us now and pick up your free guided meditation.