So I am back again. This month has been so intense and I feel like I’m inside a tumble drier spinning around. Sometimes it stops but then it just starts spinning faster again. I really long for quiet and slow time. Just me in an empty space. With no to do lists and no conflicts to deal with.
Amazing Workshop Weekend
I have to start this post with my gorgeous long weekend in Stockholm. It was pure heaven and full of I-can’t-believe-this-is-my-job moments. My dear friend Pernilla and I greeted a group of amazing women for two days of communication with their spirit guides. Of course we do a lot more than that. As we had the chance to gather in a wooden cabin in the middle of the forest we were able to improvise a lot during this workshop. We communicated with trees, rocks and plants outside while standing barefoot on the green moss. I brought my hand-made drum and drummed for a long time in an enchanted forest where we could sense the beautiful creatures who live there.
The group of women were so open-hearted and brave and they made the moments we shared so special. Pernilla and I were so amazed and in awe of their journeys into the depths of their souls. What a treat! Now I feel so filled up with magic and nature that I just have to close my eyes in order to get back to that forest.
I also had the time to spend many hours talking with my friends Pernilla and Nellie and we drank liters of tea. I love connecting one on one with people. I love the depths of our conversations and how our bonds grow stronger.
Back to normal life
After a very long trip back (I live so far from civilisation!) I am now in the middle of my “normal” life again and right now it’s a huge challenge. I’m having a very hard time finding a way to adapt to the French school system and although I have faith in my children this is not an easy place to be.
How do I guide and support my children when they spend their days in a system that doesn’t respect them? In a structure that doesn’t support and honor the creative beings they are. I would love for them to find a good balance between their inner world and the outer one. A balance that is good for them but that also works at school. I am struggling to find my faith in this middle way right now. And although I believe that we will find a way together as a family, we haven’t found this way yet.
In these painful times I am grateful for the new lessons I am learning and the insights into a young boy’s heart and soul are so precisous. I just realised this week that maybe violent boys and men are acting out because they are frustrated because we try to fit all of who they are into a very small box.
I grew up with my mom and sister so I never really thought of how boys grow up but my son shows me this every day. I am so grateful for these lessons and I feel more humble. I believe that this is a good thing. I can’t just think myself out of this. I have to confront it and get through it. In my own way. I need to be strong but compassionate. It is quite a challenge to sit with my feelings of injustice and only focus on my heart opening up. When all I want to do is scream and make someone else responsible.
The truth is that I am responsible for the situation I am in and I need to stay true to myself and my beliefs – even when they are challenged.
My life savers right now are:
- Barefoot Breathing: No matter how bad I feel or how busy I am I take some time every day to go outside, take my shoes off and breath with Mother Earth. It doesn’t take away all the pain but I feel connected again.
- Going for long walks in the forest: Nature is magical and I love going for a long walk and feel how my day melts away. Down to earth magic : ).
- My friends: I don’t have a lot of friends but a few really close ones. We can talk for hours and they teach me so much about myself and about life. Love you!
- My children: They always amaze me. Children are so great at staying in the present moment, to feel what they are feeling and they are so creative. How is that for a teacher?
It seems like this month of September is shaking us all up a bit and I try to stay present, to be with what is. Some days it’s easy and some days it’s very hard. But I am here. Still breathing.
I am really happy to let you know that I’ll be on the lovely Tia Johnson’s blog radio show this evening at 18.00 Central European Time (noon EST). We’ll be chatting about spirituality and I’ll be doing readings so you’re very welcome to call in. If you can’t join us at this time, just come back later and listen to the recording.
I wish you a beautiful day!
All my Love,
PS: My Love Letter for September is going out today. If you wish to receive one, just let me know.
PS2: We are sending out our very first Soultribe newsletter today. Yay! If you’re not on out list, please join us now and pick up your free guided meditation.
Yes it was a magical weekend indeed! Thank you and I hope things will work out.
In regards to your son, perhaps you will be the one affecting the school system and changing it into a positive, creative and modern system. Not in a day, but in time and with patience. Just a thought. Not easy but every movement started with a thought.
Take care sweet soul! Pernilla
Thank you, Pernilla! Yes, I hope that things will change even if it takes time. We are lucky to be supported by a group of other parents who agree with us when it comes to the well being of our children and that feels great. I try to stay in my heart and be compassionate instead of trying to hurt back. It’s a great lesson and I want my son to see that it’s possible to find solutions together even if we don’t agree with each other at first. And that it’s possible to communicate.
Have a beautiful week abroad! Love, Karina
Oh, I hear you Karina! My son is due to start school next year and begin his transition visits in the next couple of weeks. I still haven’t filled out the forms and he’s already starting 6 months later than his friends because I keep putting it off. (He is 5)
What I would love is for him to attend part time, perhaps I could pick him up at lunch every day. Or only send him every second day. I don’t know really. Or I will have to get on the governing council and make some changes…hmmmm. Scary indeed.
Sending you loads of love and light and courage as you explore what is right for your family xxx
Thank you for reading and I understand what you wish for. That’s how we started out for my son too and it was great to listen to his needs. We weren’t really allowed to do it but we did anyway. I love the idea of finding new solutions and trying to change an old system together, one step at a time. But sometimes it’s very frustrating too. It depends on the children too. School has been difficult for my son because he’s really sensitive and doesn’t like being in big groups. My daughter who is 3 loves school and seems to adapt really well and at the same time she’s stays true to herself.
Thank you for your kind words and I send you lots of Love and courage too, Karina
I struggled with the school system and how my children were treated. The best thing you can do is teach them what you want them to know at home. Your are more important and what you model for them will stick. I remember how hard it is, though. Remember your children have guides who will help them too!
Thank you, Loran. For telling me that we are not alone in this – unfortunately… And for your wise words. Love, Karina
I went through an extremely trying year with the school my oldest and middle daughters went to, which I was going to tell you about in detail~ but when I wrote it out, I found it was way too depressing!
So, let’s just say that I know what you’re going through, and I feel for you!
If it sounds light-filled and good and full of possibility to you, maybe you could consider looking around for a school that fits them better? You might be pleasantly surprised at the options you unearth.
If you don’t have the energy for that, or can’t find your way to a better solution, I encourage you to keep your spirits up~ I feel sure that you’ll find your solutions, built right into the problem!
I am sorry to hear that it was so difficult for your children. I so wish that all children could be in good schools where they are treated well.
We have thought of different possibilities, either to change schools or to homeschool him but only if things get really bad. First we will talk to his teacher – a lot – and try to change things. Some of the other parents have complained too so we’re not alone. That feels good!
I try to stay centered and positive and hopefully things will work out. Thank you for sharing and for your kind words. Love, Karina
Dear Karina
I hear you – we have had really mixed experiences with different schools and different teachers. Parents are the most important educators in any child’s life and your precious son is learning so much about balancing his inner and outer experiences of the world from you. Sending you much love Jackie xxxxx
Dear Jackie,
Thank you for sharing your experience and for your encouraging words. Lots of Love and Light to you, Karina
Oh Karina, what a mix of emotions and experiences this month has brought to you …no wonder you feel like you are spinning around. Sending you blessings for peace and support at this time x
Yes, this has been a really intense month for me. I’m hoping for some peaceful moments soon. Thank you so much for you support, Samantha! Love, Karina